Venom: Let There Be Carnage Review – Beat It Movie Reviews

This week on Beat It Movie Reviews, Joe Gets Snyder Cut (ouch), and we’re sponsored by Just the Two of Us: The Symbiote Dating App What We’ve Been Watching: Creature from the Black Lagoon Titane Dawn of the Dead La Brea Marvel’s What if Squid Game Joe Cabello’s Twitter Joe Cabello’s Patreon Joe Cabello’s FacebookContinue reading “Venom: Let There Be Carnage Review – Beat It Movie Reviews”

Ch. 11 “Worm” | Techno-Virus (PATRON POST)

READ THE FULL POST HERE A new chapter of my superhero, zombie-noir novella is up on Patreon! This one is a patron-only post, however, you can read the first 10 chapter for free right HERE. What is Techno-Virus? In a world of super-powered men and women known as Ultra Cops, a disgraced former cop formsContinue reading “Ch. 11 “Worm” | Techno-Virus (PATRON POST)”

THE CANYONS (2013 FILM) with Andrei Konst – EP 117 – Shut Up I Love It

Writer/director Andrei Konst thinks highly of the 2013 erotic thriller THE CANYONS, the love child of Bret Easton Ellis and Paul Shrader. The film stars Lindsay Lohan and James Deen, AKA “the Ryan Gosling of porn” and according to Konst, is a Hollywood satire with a Brechtian purpose. Joe Cabello’s Twitter Joe Cabello’s Patreon Joe Cabello’sContinue reading “THE CANYONS (2013 FILM) with Andrei Konst – EP 117 – Shut Up I Love It”

Star Wars: Visions Review – Beat It Movie Reviews

In this episode of Beat It Movie Reviews, we apologize to the movie gods for not reviewing a movie, a 25-year-old movie gets the IMAX treatment, and we rank the episodes of Star Wars Visions. Check out this TV recap-packed episode! What We’ve Been Watching: The Premise Ghost in the Shell (1995) IMAX What IfContinue reading “Star Wars: Visions Review – Beat It Movie Reviews”

A Sneaking Suspicion (humor essay)

I’m no Stephen Hawking. I don’t claim to have figured out the secrets to the universe or anything like that, but I’ve recently been struck with a startling suspicion all the same. I’m beginning to suspect that it may have been Maybelline this whole time. Now, I’m not saying there haven’t been one or twoContinue reading “A Sneaking Suspicion (humor essay)”

Bombshell & the Unwitting Alienation of its Audience

Bombshell is a dramatized depiction of the sexual harassment allegations against head of Fox News, Roger Ailles, that ultimately lead to his firing from the company just months before the election of Donald Trump. At times it’s stylistically reminiscent of Adam McKay’s Big Short and Vice, yet never fully adopts a consistent motif the wayContinue reading “Bombshell & the Unwitting Alienation of its Audience”

Once Upon a Time in Knowing Hollywood History

Just like any movie, there are endless reasons a moviegoer may have disliked Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. Even the most lauded films have their detractors after all. There is no greater proof than the fact that there are people  who believe Children of Men is a bad film (pray for them). On theContinue reading “Once Upon a Time in Knowing Hollywood History”

Blockbusters, Indies, Art, Films, Trash Films — They’re All Movies

I hate movie snobs. Whenever I catch wind of some blowhard spitting movie snobbery, I just want to crush their skull in, which would make me a murderer, which is arguably much worse than a movie snob. I get the same violent urges towards art snobs in general. I’m talking about the kind of peopleContinue reading “Blockbusters, Indies, Art, Films, Trash Films — They’re All Movies”

“Loved the script, Quentin. Just a few notes. Maybe less n-word.”

I’m fresh off of seeing Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, which I thought was incredible, but I’ll leave it at that since this isn’t a review. I do, however, need to give the tiniest of spoilers with this one simple, and possibly surprising, fact: the movie doesn’t have a single utterance of the n-word.Continue reading ““Loved the script, Quentin. Just a few notes. Maybe less n-word.””

Make Terminator and the Predator Horror Again

I’m so over Predator and Terminator movies. Of course, I’m also full of shit. I’m not going to pretend like I’m not there opening weekend for every new Terminator and Predator movie, but I have stopped expecting them to be any good. Fucking hell. Even the combination of Shane Black and Olivia Munn couldn’t makeContinue reading “Make Terminator and the Predator Horror Again”