A Sneaking Suspicion (humor essay)

I’m no Stephen Hawking. I don’t claim to have figured out the secrets to the universe or anything like that, but I’ve recently been struck with a startling suspicion all the same.

I’m beginning to suspect that it may have been Maybelline this whole time.

Now, I’m not saying there haven’t been one or two instances where she’s been born with it. There are always outliers, after all, and I’ll be the first to admit that my investigation has been amateurish at best, but I’m just saying, given what we do know, if I were a betting man, I’d put my money on it having been Maybelline more times than not.

Originally posted on Patreon

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