First off, let me tell you that I love these kinds of movies. They remind me of moiveds from my childhood like ‘Star Kid.’ That being said, they are usually horrible, paint-by-numbers films. That’s why when I saw the trailer for ‘AXL’ it immediately reminded me of the movie ‘Monster Trucks.’ That made me want…
Category: Short fiction
The Flash Drive
A guy and his girlfriend had just moved in together, so they were still getting comfortable with each other’s boundaries. One day the girlfriend asked if she could use his computer, nervously adding, “I’m not going to find any porn on it, am I?” The guy scoffed and said, “Honey, you will ne’re find a…
The Search for the Spiciest Curry
There was this foodie who was utterly obsessed with finding the spiciest curry in all the world. He had traveled to literally every single restaurant and hobby-chef’s kitchen, yet couldn’t find a single curry worthy of his tongue. He had one last hope though. The final restaurant he had yet to try. The one known…
Riz Raru in… The Case of the Sticky Fingers
Hello! So many exciting things are happening right now with Scrote One, my Star Wars Parody, and my compilation of short stories (free on Amazon right now!), but I’m sick of promoting. It’s time I give an excerpt from something I’m working on. It’s about a female private investigator named Riz Raru. It’s based off…
Hi, I was the guy at the party with the flesh colored dildo peeking out of my breast pocket
Hi, You probably remember me from Josiah’s party last Saturday at Round Table. I was the guy who put down four slices of supreme and about a dozen garlic knots in under five minutes. Though you may remember me better as the guy who had the flesh colored dildo peeking out of his breast pocket. Just…
Meet Sam. The guy who thinks “intern” means “hooker”
Meet Sam. Sam is like every other 30 year old white male in America except for one thing. Due to an adolescent misunderstanding of the Clinton trial, he thinks that “intern” means “hooker.” Sam sits down with a laptop. He’s frustrated and overworked. His wife, Julia, notices. JULIA Do you need a snack, honey? SAM No….
Here’s Why You Should Never Wear Shoes Inside
Wearing your shoes inside the house can be a hard habit to break. After all, if you leave your shoes outside they might get stolen by a relative/enemy, or once you’re inside there might be a masked gunman waiting for you, leaving you without a shoe to throw at him. The alternative isn’t any better. If you leave…
Honest text to send at 11:40pm to the girl you’ve been seeing for a week
Honest text to send at 11:40pm to the girl you’ve been seeing for a week: “hey, just wanted some kind of validation that you like me that I can only get if you text me back instantly because I have nothing else going on in my life other than this, and anything other than you texting back within five seconds will…
Crack isn’t Off the Table for Me Yet
There are some things you just know are off the table after a certain age. Like for me, I know I’m never going to ride a motorcycle. You won’t catch me dead on one of those things, especially after having a near-death experience on an ATV, and those things aren’t even as fast or dangerous as motorcycles. Put…
God Issues Product Recall For All Mankind
This was a prompt for a writing gig I didn’t get. Enjoy! After 6,000 years of production, God has issued a mass product recall for all of mankind, citing issues such as mass violence, destruction of the Earth, Kanye West, and mankind “just generally acting crazy.” According to God’s representatives, the lack of space…
Video Game Review From a Guy Who Sucks at Video Games
SquareBlast has released their newest first person shooter, Let It Rage, a multiplayer warzone with team deathmatch, capture the flag, and a single player campaign. Unfortunately it’s a frustrating mess of a game, with a multiplayer that is almost impossible to play. Multiplayer The game’s key feature, the multiplayer mode, falls apart completely. First off,…
30 Sketches, 30 Days
So, I’ve been really busy writing for the 2016 CBS Diversity Showcase, so I haven’t been writing anything other than sketches. I’d still like people to enjoy something that I wrote since I’m a millennial and I want all the attention, so I decided to post up my National Sketch Writing Month page. National Sketch…
