Some Thoughts on the Summer Heat in Los Angeles

The Summer heat can be brutal, especially when you don’t have air conditioning. It got so hot this Summer that my girlfriend told me she couldn’t be in the apartment anymore. She even changed her number and completely disappeared from my life. It must have been so hot she couldn’t stand our body heat, or even the brainheat from thinking about me.

The heat gets really bad here. Every Summer I think I’ll never wear pants again. Mostly because this gypsy woman keeps following me saying, “You’ll never wear pants again! I curse you!” By the time Winter comes it never ends up being true, so I guess Gypsy curses must only work in the Winter. Things are tough for everyone this time of year.

The heat has a tendency to make people angry too. They’ll say things like “It’s too damn hot!” and “You’re really annoying, Joe!” The heat gets so bad they even say some of those things after the weather cools down.

Some people think the sun is going to expand so fast day one day that it will burn us all alive. And then they ask you for some change, but the light turns green at the freeway exit so you drive away.

I feel really bad for those people. We’re obviously going to die from some alien war before the sun kills us. Some people are so crazy that you start to think they deserve to be homeless. At least they have constant AC. The wind.