The Farts Awakens: A Star Wars Parody, My New Paperback! + Free Preview for WordPress Users!

Hello! Very excited to announce my new paperback available on, The Farts Awakens: A Star Wars Parody! (Click the image below for a link to the Amazon page) Written in easy-to-read screenplay format, this aggressively stupid, incredibly hilarious Star Wars parody follows the adventures of Rey Toiletbowler and Finn Hardwiper as they learn toContinue reading “The Farts Awakens: A Star Wars Parody, My New Paperback! + Free Preview for WordPress Users!”


Dear PremiumMasons Support Team, I’d like to cancel my PremiumMasons membership. At first when I found out the Freemasons were offering a paid subscription service I was very excited. As someone who has enjoyed the unadulterated power and wealth from being a Freemason, a premium service sounded like a good idea. Unfortunately the additional servicesContinue reading “PremiumMasons”

He Was a Dracula – Chapter 1

He sloppily folded his crushed velvet tuxedo, threw it on top of his dresser, and slid into his pajamas. A boring plaid number, but they were comfortable and consistently warm, no matter what cold, dark recess of the dresser they had dwelled in. Perfect for a nice, long sleep. It was 9:30am and he hadContinue reading “He Was a Dracula – Chapter 1”

30 Sketches, 30 Days

So, I’ve been really busy writing for the 2016 CBS Diversity Showcase, so I haven’t been writing anything other than sketches. I’d still like people to enjoy something that I wrote since I’m a millennial and I want all the attention, so I decided to post up my National Sketch Writing Month page. National SketchContinue reading “30 Sketches, 30 Days”

The Longest Haiku! See what’s inside!

My new book, The Longest Haiku, is now available on Amazon! Money I make from it goes towards my medical bills from my recent shoulder injury, so I’d love it if you buy it or share it on social media. You can check out the table of content below after the link. Buy it onContinue reading “The Longest Haiku! See what’s inside!”

My New Book is Out! The Longest Haiku!

The Longest Haiku! I wrote a coffee table/joke/haiku book to help pay for my medical bills from my broken shoulder. You know what that means? Not only do you get an awesome book, you also get to help someone in need (ME!) YOU CAN BUY IT ON CREATE SPACE HERE It will be available onContinue reading “My New Book is Out! The Longest Haiku!”

A Plane Hijacking Story with Billy Joel

This one is a little long, but trust me, you’ll want to read the whole thing, so bookmark if you need to! It was midnight and the Tokyo airlines flight 881 was halfway to Shinai. Taking red eye flights used to be fun until the movie Red Eye came out. Movies have a tendency toContinue reading “A Plane Hijacking Story with Billy Joel”

Some Thoughts on the Summer Heat in Los Angeles

The Summer heat can be brutal, especially when you don’t have air conditioning. It got so hot this Summer that my girlfriend told me she couldn’t be in the apartment anymore. She even changed her number and completely disappeared from my life. It must have been so hot she couldn’t stand our body heat, orContinue reading “Some Thoughts on the Summer Heat in Los Angeles”

6 Celebrities You Never Thought Could Pull Off A Beard Using Their Bare Hands.

This was another parody I did to a bunch of articles I’ve seen titled “X celebrities you never knew could pull of a beard.” Good news for my followers too! I just finished draft 1 of my book, Lessons in Debauchery: The Topher Weyland Story. It’s at 47,000+ words. I can’t even believe it. Here’sContinue reading “6 Celebrities You Never Thought Could Pull Off A Beard Using Their Bare Hands.”