The Introduction Chapter to my book “Lessons in Debauchery: The Topher Weyland Story”

I am pleased to release the introduction chapter of my book on my blog! It’s got a couple of jokes in it, you know. No big deal. You can also download it in PDF if that’s what you’re into. Let me know what you think, and pass it along to your friends and enemies. The

The Guy Who Doesn’t Have Superpowers Quits the Super Hero Team

Check out my new article on Funny or Die! It’s an open letter from the guy on a super hero team (like The Avengers) who doesn’t have any powers (like Hawkeye). Click “funny” and share, and all of that good stuff if you feel so inclined. Excerpt: Dear Super Squad, I wish I could say

Failed Movie Pitches

Romeo in Joliet Before his final triste with Juliet, Romeo falls into a magical well, transporting him to Joliet, Illinois where he falls in love with a rough and tumble corn farmer named Sarah. One Nightstand Serial-dater, Jenna, keeps all the names of her conquests in her nightstand, but when she finally meets “Mr. Right,”

Post-Apocalyptic Pick-Up Lines

I have food. I have shelter. I can protect you from the Blood Ravens. I won’t rape you. Want to get out of here? (followed by a double suicide.) Is that a knife, or are you just happy to see me? (it’s a knife and the person stabs you with it, taking your food and