The Farts Awakens: A Star Wars Parody, My New Paperback! + Free Preview for WordPress Users!

Hello!

Very excited to announce my new paperback available on Amazon.com, The Farts Awakens: A Star Wars Parody! (Click the image below for a link to the Amazon page)

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Written in easy-to-read screenplay format, this aggressively stupid, incredibly hilarious Star Wars parody follows the adventures of Rey Toiletbowler and Finn Hardwiper as they learn to use the Farts, the mystical power of the Browneye. With the help of Handjob Solo, Princess Lay-yuh, and Jewbacca, they’ll try to stop the Empooper from releasing a weapon with unimaginable smell.

History:

30 years after the fall of the Galactic Empooper by the hand of the Rebel Assliance, the Empooper has regained strength, propelled by an unknown, dark power. Lead by General Fucks, their plan to dominate the galaxy is almost complete, using a new weapon, the power of which has never been seen before.

As time has passed and faded away, so have the lessons learned, and the heroics of the Rebel Assliance long ago. People have since forgotten the part that Luko Cockblocker played in defeating the evils of the Empooper. They have forgotten how he used the Farts, a binding, ubiquitous force found in the anus, to ultimately defeat Shart Vader.

The Browneye, an order of warriors who used the Farts for good, have been forgotten and relegated to legend. Nothing more than stories told to children, or printed in books meant to be read on the toilet.

There are, however, dark forces slowly gaining power, and those who have felt the farts before… will start to feel them again.

Help support it socially by clicking this link and joining my Thunderclap campaign! It’s very simple and helps a lot.


 

Want to see a little bit of it? Sign up for my newsletter at the link below and you’ll be directed to a download.

The Farts Awakens: A Star Wars Parody PREVIEW

The Last Dragons [An Slightly Erotic, Bizarre Fiction about Dragons]

 

Prior to this, I’ve posted this on my official site, JoeCabello.com, and quickly realized (through the power of analytics) that many people were finding it by googling “dragon sex stories” or “dragons having sex with humans stories.” That’s, unfortunately, not what this story is about, though it does have some erotic elements for the sake of comedy.

Hopefully you enjoy it as it was intended, as it is not “sexy” enough to be considered successful erotic literature


 

Graydis was only one of three dragons left in a world once thickly populated with dragons. He was on his way to mate with the last female dragon, Kirdana, but he was dreading it. Kirdana was nice enough, especially considering the slim pickings, but having sex with dragon women was awful.

Male dragons had smooth, almost glass-like phalluses, however, female dragon vaginas were filled with sharp barbs. They were a vestigial trait from eons before to help dragon mate while in the air. Many dragons would slip out in mid-flight. Ironically, the barbs became so awful that the male dragons began avoiding mating at all costs. Most were happy just to pleasure themselves and call it a day. Graydis greatly preferred it.Continue reading “The Last Dragons [An Slightly Erotic, Bizarre Fiction about Dragons]”

Chapter 9 of my book? Who’s interested?

Hello!

I recently released the introduction chapter of my book, Lessons in Debauchery: The Topher Weyland Story. Read it here. Let me know what you think in the comments, please, but I bet it doesn’t give you much sense of the story and how it plays out, does it?

Well, I have a solution for that! I have Chapter 9 ready to roll out if there is enough interest in it.

I know what you’re thinking:

Chapter 9? Isn’t that like 9 chapters into the book? Start with, I don’t know, Chapter 1?

That’s actually a really good idea, but Chapter 9 is the only really polished chapter (although I’m sure they will all get heavily edited by the time it’s official “done.” Either that or burned in a insurance fraud house fire). It’s exceptionally funny, if I’m allowing myself to toot my own horn, and I’d love some feedback.

If this post gets enough likes or comments I’ll share it ASAP!