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I’m a comedy writer in Los Angeles who sometimes performs, and sometimes teaches karate to children. You may know my work from an unproduced half-hour series for a major airline, or my book The Farts Awakens. If you don’t know my work from that, you should probably buy it, then you will know it AND I’ll get money (actually, don’t buy it yet, I am going to give it to you for free!)

I’ve started a Patreon Page that desperately needs donations so I can create and release videos, finish my book, and continue living in expensive LA.

FIND THE PATREON PAGE HERE
I write constantly, but I rarely produce anything that I write because it’s really hard… plus it takes money. Then I realized I can just use YOUR sweet, sweet money to make things! I have rewards set -up so that you can get all my books for free just by being a donor. And it’s relaly fun!

These are some things I’ve written or made in the past:
Say Anything Parody
Gun Down, an action film
The Adventures of Young Time Traveling Thomas Jefferson

If you liked those, you’ll have no regrets giving me your money. Your sweet, sweet money. If you didn’t like those then I can promise I’ll only get better.

The more money I can get, the more ambitious projects I can do. I want to do podcasts, radio plays, comics, and short films. By subscribing you’ll be kept up to date on the creative process.

Some future projects your funding helps:
Lightrail: The Separation – an all green screen sci-fi series
Space Heroes – an absurd, Airplane style sci-fi series
Finish my book, Lessons in Debauchery, and release it.
and many more!

Funny Or Die http://www.funnyordie.com/joecabello
Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfNBhJ5Lw5ySNhz_I…

https://www.patreon.com/joecabello

Thank you for your consideration!

About the Clown I Hired for John’s Birthday

I’ve been busy doing nothing ever since recovering from my surgery, but I do have some exciting things developing, including a book announcement very soon. I appreciate any encouragement, and please subscribe to get more info on the book as it comes out.

Enjoy.


 

First I want to address that, no, the clown I hired was not an actual clown. I admit that, and I am sorry, but we have to look at the good here.

Was he a clown? No.

Did he do funny tricks, songs or dances, as was expected? No.

Did he hurt anyone? Yes, but it wasn’t anyone in our family, so we’ll count it as a no.

Was he talented at what he did bring to the table? Absolutely.

I agree that he was absolutely not dressed appropriately for the party. He was not wearing clown pants, or pants at all, and what looked like a blonde clown wig from afar was actually a live bee hive, but was that not a sight to behold?

I remember the neighborhood kid, Jackson, yelling, “He’s got a beehive on his head!” He was so excited. Sure, one, if not many of the bees stung him, and his excitement could have been mistaken for fear due to his severe bee allergy, but that energy was infectious. Soon after he started yelling, everyone else was too.

I truly believe that more people had a good time than a bad time, or at least that there were more people not stung than there were stung, and that’s saying something considering the amount of bees in the hive. I also think you fail to see that our clown in question was not stung once. I for one, thought that was pretty impressive, and worthy of the $200.

I’ve heard the things you say about me. I’m the screw-up uncle, I’m a loose cannon, I owe you $5,000 etc. I know that you think I forgot to book an actual clown, and instead found a homeless man off the street and paid him money to pretend he was a clown, while also urging him to wear the bee hive on his head (even more amazing that he wasn’t stung), but I assure you that I booked him way in advance, so I was just as upset as you were about the whole fiasco.

I hate to say it, but I fear a bit of racism is what fueled your anger towards the man I hired. We both know he was Italian (or at least looked and smelled Italian) and that’s what really bothered you, not that he caused the neighborhood kid Jackson to be stung over 80 times, tried to kiss your wife, and yelled obscenities at all the kids.

Let’s agree to split the blame on this one 70(you)/30(me) and call the party a success. Anyways, I’m ready to accept your apology at any time. Maybe you could do it when you pay your share of the clown money and drive me to Jackson’s funeral.

P.S. I need a ride to Jackson’s funeral.


 

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