Post-Apocalyptic Pick-Up Lines

I have food.

I have shelter.

I can protect you from the Blood Ravens.

I won’t rape you.

Want to get out of here? (followed by a double suicide.)

Is that a knife, or are you just happy to see me? (it’s a knife and the person stabs you with it, taking your food and supplies)

Do you have any raisins? Well, then how about a date? Any food at all? Please.

You see my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I’m cute. He’s blind from the radioactive pulse.

I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. (mostly to assess the utility of your potential partner)

Do you have a map? Because I just keep on getting lost in your eyes. Also, is there anything else out there, or is it all wasteland now?

Is it hot in here, or is it just the oncoming fire tornadoes?

Your legs must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all night. Or away from the Blood Ravens.

If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me? Seriously, the temperature is dropping incredibly fast. We may need to huddle for warmth.